So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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