I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
