Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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