I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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