Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize