you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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