It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
