we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
