I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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