The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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