I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Semen is not good for contacts.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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