she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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