So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
