is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I love you.
Bad choice
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