Do vagina's smell?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
