i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
