do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
