I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
