i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
