i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
