he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize