Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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