hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
