I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Buhtt sex?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
