i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
