just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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