Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
