Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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