So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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