He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
