Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
