i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
