I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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