how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
