It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
