Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
