she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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