I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
