Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
