Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
