Swine flu. Run for my life!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize