Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
