fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
