Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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