You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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