We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
