I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
soo... how was my night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
