Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
