she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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