Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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