Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize