omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
