How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
