Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
