he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
