She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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