New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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