why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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